I suppose it’s time I finish this topic. It’s been a difficult one because of its personal nature. The lesson I’ve learned from this experience is to be careful with what I present and share on a public forum. I put it on the backburner and was content to leave it there until a friend reminded me recently that it was left unwritten. And so, I will attempt to finish it here. I think my reluctance to publishing my thoughts is that I don’t wish to presume my suffering surpasses that of others. I actually feel very blessed in life. I’m generally a happy person. Still, there are trials to endure, and those trials, by nature, involve suffering.

Many years ago, I read a book by the Rabbi Harold Kushner called, When Bad Things Happen to Good People. It was the first time I remember thinking about life’s trials and challenges not necessarily being the result of where we find ourselves on the scale of bad to good; that we live in a fallen world where random chaos can be found around any given corner. He writes about our agency, and what a priceless gift of God it is, even when one chooses to use it in a hurtful manner, and sometimes at the expense of another individual. Because we find ourselves in a world where bad things can, may, and do happen, it doesn’t suggest we are punished or are bad ourselves. We are placed in an environment that allows growth, choice, faith, and forgiveness. He writes:

 One of the ways in which people have tried to make sense of the world’s suffering in every generation has been by assuming that we deserve what we get, that somehow our misfortunes come as punishment for our sins.

I was studying the Book of John in the New Testament a few weeks back and came across the story of Jesus healing the blind man. His disciples posed the question, “Master, who did sin, this man, or his parents, that he was born blind? Jesus answered, Neither hath this man sinned, nor his parents: but that the works of God should be made manifest in him” It would seem that this passage acknowledges that misfortune may occur, and it is not necessarily the result of sin on a person’s part. I cross referenced this scripture with one found in the Book of Mormon. In 2 Nephi 2:2, Father Lehi teaches his son, Nevertheless, Jacob, my firstborn in the wilderness, thou knowest the greatness of God; and he shall consecrate thine afflictions for they gain. In other words, Lehi teaches that our suffering is consecrated to us for our benefit and growth.

Unfortunately, anything “uncomfortable” almost always transfers to our consciousness as suffering. Either we are happy and content with the status quo, or we suffer when life doesn’t go the way we would choose. Suffering isn’t necessarily bad in and of itself. Perhaps it is simply an indication that external forces are bearing down upon us. When we don’t address the nature of our suffering, acknowledge possible purposes from a divine perspective, or consider the impact of change within us, then suffering can seem endless, or worse, a punishment.

Sometimes, our suffering is caused by the trial of someone dear to us, so it is a secondary suffering. I’ve known individuals who are victims of abuse, and I suffer that along with them. I grew up in an alcoholic home, and I suffer for that. Someone very dear to me suffers PTSD from overseas wars. I don’t understand that suffering, but I feel deep compassion for anyone who endures that kind of trial. So, sometimes the purpose in the suffering is to teach others charity, love, and compassion.

If we never identify the purpose to our suffering, then we simply hurt, and hurt, and hurt. From that pain, we can become a victim. But with a purpose, we transcend suffering long, and enter what the scriptures refer to as long-suffering. What is the biblical meaning of longsuffering? Dictionary.com gives the following as a description of long-suffering:

Long-suffering is most commonly used as an adjective to describe someone who patiently endures negative situations for long periods of time without complaining.

It’s often used in situations in which someone has endured pain, injury, illness, hardship, tragedy, or difficulty in accomplishing something. It’s also often used to describe a person who has stood by or supported someone during a difficult time.

Importantly, though, long-suffering doesn’t simply indicate that someone has endured bad things for a long time—it implies that they have endured such things without complaint.

In religious contexts, long-suffering is discussed as a virtue, especially one involving being patient and slow to get angry. A close synonym is forbearance.

The term longsuffering is revealed as one of the fruits of the Spirit in Galatians 5:22, a translation of the Greek makrothumia, literally meaning “long of mind or soul,” or patient and tolerant.

Longsuffering suggests that we recognize a purpose to our suffering, and with that, we can have hope as we exercise patience. We accept that the pain will lead to change and/or growth. Someday it will end. Someday we’ll look back and perhaps remember who we were before the suffering began and we can see that like a caterpillar, we too have grown a beautiful set of wings.

I enjoy reading the works of the great stoic philosophers. Here are a few simple quotes I’ve come across in preparing to write this essay:

To live is to suffer, to survive is to find some meaning in the suffering- Friedrich Nietzsche

Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved- Helen Keller

Wisdom comes alone through suffering- Aeschylus

God had one son on earth without sin, but never one without suffering- Saint Augustine

The reward of suffering is experience- Harry S Truman

True, I am in love with suffering, but I do not know if I deserve the honor- Saint Ignatius

We forget our pleasures, we remember our sufferings- Marcus Tullius Cicero

Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional- Buddhist saying

Lastly, a quote by a largely unknown individual,

Though I would never choose to walk this path again, I wouldn’t trade the knowledge and experience for anything in the world- Michael Guy Handley