I designed two shows in the last two weeks, and that has kept me from getting out much. First, I lit the Sleeping Beauty Ballet along with two concert dances and then, just as they were finished, I began the final rehearsals for the Tom Stoppard play, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead. Neither production proved to be very challenging. Because they were feathered on top of each other, I couldn’t give either one my complete attention. My heart longed to be outdoors instead of skulking in a darkened theatre. As I was finishing Rosencrantz and Guildenstern, I spent a few thoughtful moments considering what my future design projects might be and how soon I needed to prepare for them. I don’t think I will have a full design project until fall. I’m soon to begin the final academic year of my career. That means I can probably count my remaining designs on one hand. I’ve designed the lighting for about 325 productions over the last 45 years. I know this because I’ve written a journal and I’ve tracked my design work. That averages out to over seven productions a year since I was 16-years old. Two of those years I was in missionary service for my church and I didn’t work in a theatre at all, and in my teenage years I didn’t work at full capacity obviously. So that actually pushes the average shows per year much higher during my years of employment.

When we had a young family, I realized that most families I knew were surviving off two incomes. We made a choice early in our marriage that I would work to support the family, while Virginia stayed at home and was the primary nurturer for our six children. Since the realization that we needed a second income, and I was responsible for working, my only option was to find additional work. For the bulk of those child rearing years, I worked every freelance job I could get my hands on. It wasn’t always easy, and it certainly wasn’t convenient. I suppressed my desires and longings to be outdoors. I have no regrets for the choices we made. Keeping Virginia at home with the kids was absolutely right for us. Given the opportunity to do over again, I wouldn’t trade the chance to support the family for romping over mountains and through valleys. It was indeed a sacrifice, but I love my family more than anything, and I gave those years and long hours of work for them. Now, I find myself nearing the end of that stage of my life. I’ve banked and invested all these years, and I believe we’re close to reaching self-sustainability from here on out. The kids have all moved out, and while I’m still committed to seeing them through college, they are largely on their own. All are married and almost all are educated.

So, barring unforeseen medical conditions or other emergencies, it’s about time to catch up on lost opportunities to be out in the wild hiking, exploring, photographing, and enjoying the golden years with my lifelong sweetheart.

It’s been a good career. Working in the theatre has been a passion I’ve maintained throughout my life. I’ve enjoyed the creative process, discovering my emotions, and sharing in the artistic experience with those around me. Nothing has brought me more joy than seeing the light in another’s eyes after they witness an uplifting production I’ve worked on. The best of all has been seeing that joy in the eyes of those I love the dearest, my wife and children. The theatre has been a great outlet for me. Most of my life I’ve said, “I’ve got to go to work now”. But what I really meant was, “It’s time to go play again”. There is no justification for spending 10-12 hours a day at work when one is only paid for 8 hours. Many days I clocked 16+ hours a day. Where is the sanity in that? As I look back now, and review the rich experiences recorded in my journal, I know I was rewarded fairly for what I did. Creativity can’t be measured in an hourly rate, nor can one account for the return in growth that occurs from the spiritual aspects of working in the arts. What I’ve seen with my eyes, pales in comparison to what I’ve felt in my heart. That is the true blessing of one’s life work in the arts.

As for now, I have a challenging project that doesn’t involve my design talents that will take me through the next three months. Then I hope to spend a relaxing summer recovering before starting that final year of a working lighting designer.