When I served my first mission as a young man, 45 years ago, I was introduced to many slang words used by other missionaries of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Many of those words are/were unique to church culture. At times, missionaries can carry entire conversations using phrases that would never be understood outside the demographic. I work with a lot of the young missionaries on this mission, and I’ve learned that the vocabulary has grown even further. There is a lot I don’t understand from these young elders and sisters, but there are also the old tried and true words and phrases that still remain. As we wrap up our time in Hawaii and begin thinking of what happens next in life, I realize I am falling victim to the adjective- Trunky. Being trunky occurs when a missionary begins thinking of home. It has direct application to thinking about that suitcase that has been sitting in the closet collecting dust for almost two years and will soon be laid open on the bed waiting to get packed. To be fair, this thought doesn’t weigh heavily upon me now, but we do talk about what comes next, what remains to be completed here, and how we prepare for reintegrating to normal civilian life.

Serving a mission is by no means a typical life experience. Our days follow a pattern of living in which we constantly attempt to act as disciples of Jesus Christ. Notice I used the word “attempt”. I’m constantly working on it though I often feel I fail miserably. The choices we make in our day would not likely be the same choices we would make at home. Our activities and routines are constantly focused on honing our missionary skills. Aside from our daily shift at the Polynesian Cultural Center, we spend 1-2 hours in scripture study, attend meetings, and help in the community. We try to stay healthy and exercise, stay in contact with family, prepare lesson material, etc. We are given one day a week as a preparation day to do weekly chores like shopping and laundry. Shopping alone however can take half the day since it involves driving to the other side of the island on a busy two-lane highway with a speed limit of 35 mph. We sometimes will take advantage of the tourist attractions on the island. We’re not really beach people, so sitting in the sun doesn’t appeal to us. I am anxious for the winds to die back because that means calmer seas, which makes it good for snorkeling.

Serving as missionaries has been life changing. For 25 years we worked at raising six children, which meant 32 years in a career, mountains of laundry, and countless meals passing from kitchen to the dining table. We attended school activities, church programs, scouting events, paper routes, and a thousand city sports games and piano recitals. By the time pandemic hit, our kids were all married, and we found ourselves at a crossroads. No one seemed to need us. We no longer were in charge of the circus. It was a bit unnerving to face the reality that we weren’t needed in the daily lives of those six children. We had to reinvent ourselves. Separating ourselves for two years has served several useful purposes. Contributing our time, talents, and resources to charity is always a worthwhile use of time. We are 3000 miles away from home, meaning that our children are on their own and we can watch them from a distance. It has been a remarkable experience to see them go through hard things and solve their own problems. They are all beautiful, capable, and resourceful individuals (by the way, we include our in-law children along with our own six natural offspring). This mission has been hard, much harder than I ever imagined it would be. Most of our acquaintances back home deny that we are serving a real mission. Somehow, they think that two years in a vacation destination doesn’t allow for hardships, that we don’t have room or reason to complain. We don’t even try to explain it anymore, and I won’t get into that here. I only mention it because it relates to perhaps the richest benefit of serving this mission, which is strengthening our marriage relationship. What we’ve been through, we’ve been through together. We’ve learned to lean on one another, rely on one another, and solve difficult and challenging problems together. For those first 25-30 years, all our attention was centered on raising those children. It seemed there was precious little time to ourselves. We’ve now had two years with just she and I, Virginia and Michael, and that has been wonderful.

But now with the end in sight, we’ll soon be returning home and once again be in close proximity to family and old friends. We wonder what that life looks like, and how we’ll apply the lessons we’ve learned here to the next phase of this mortal journey. I like to think that we will continue moving forward. Returning home doesn’t mean going back to old habits, problems, and routines. We have new hills to climb, roads to travel, family gatherings, and time with grandkids. Mission life in some ways is easy. Our days are planned and the distractions are few. It’s time to start thinking about going back to the real world.

Being “trunky” can manifest itself as anxiety; it’s not for us. We’re excited for the future, and I am hopeful to continue sharing through the HandleyCraft Photography Blog. We’re not done yet, but the end is within sight. Aloha ohana!